Tuesday, April 20, 2010

When you're 9000 miles from home on your birthday

"Sometime you only realize what you have when it's gone"

A phrase that's always been repeated countless times. This word, true enough, but yet, it's only a small chunk of other things that you'd come to realize.

It's true that,

I learn how to cope with a regurgitated valve. Regular visits to IJN. Well~ it's not something that I lost. Something that I never have in the first place.
I learn what a good friend you are until I lost you big time.
I learn how selfish, snobbish and self-centered I am when most of them have started to drift further away from me.
And so other things that people experiences and feel the moment they think they lost something.
Hence, all situation is an exaggeration.

But today, I stumble across something I would consider precious. No, it’s not a significant other kind of thing. But I would consider you guys as my significant others. Someone that is significant to me. I might try and write this metaphorically as part of it will always be a secret and I don’t think it’ll come out correctly if I do write about it. Saye xdelah terer English pn. Tulis pun berterabur. Cakap apetah lg.. :P

You think you lost a boulder that keeps you from falling down, but you forget about all the pebbles that keep on supporting you even though the boulder has already crashed into a thousand million pieces. I say pebbles with an s. Not a pebble. Lots and lots of them. An exaggeration. But still, multiple of them. Not one, not even a couple. It’s time for me to start paying more attention to all the pebbles rather than trying to build the boulders back from those thousand million pieces.

Hear me. I won’t be the same again. I had enough. I am not going to give in. Never will. I always have been a fighter. And yes. I’ll continue to fight. I fight for life here on Earth. I fight since I was small. Or else I’m already here *pointing down*. Six feet under. Once again, hear me. I don’t give up easily.

Goodbye you. I’ve learn what’s important and what’s not. What is it that is worth fighting for and what is not. Stop underestimating me. Stop shattering my self-confidence. Not that I have loads from the beginning.

This is all. This is “the end” of the chapter. I’ll be writing a new one soon. Without you in it. Goodbye the old Sarah. Hopefully you’re a little wiser now.Tied it up with a ribbon. Release it in the open air.

This ends here. No outside-blog talking and asking. I won’t elaborate and I won’t answer. This stays here. Don’t judge and don’t criticize. You don’t even know a quarter of it. Let alone half of it. Hopefully it’ll turns out well. InsyaAllah. I don’t want to read this post a couple of years later and still stuck with the same old problems. The same old Sarah. What a shame.

“I’ll never be the same~

If we ever meet again”

On a happier note, I thank all of you for the wishes. I’ll try not to make such a big fuss about it. But you guys really made my day lah. Thank you to those that I can really call friends. For the necklaces. For the mug. For the edited picture. For the song sang. For the videos uploaded. And for the cheesecakes. And others too. *xtulis semua kt sini pn, kte still terharu ngn korg* I don’t ask for expensive gifts. Gifts pn xmintak gak. What I ask is an honest friendship where I can really call you a friend of mine. Without a doubt. :)

p/s: a fever during your birthday keeps everything in perspective i would say.


aLam maya said...

wahh best jugak entry ni. boleh tulis novel lah lepas ni. ;D

Ani Norfarah said...

Eyh, i bought u smtg from paris the other day. Lupe gle nak tunjuk time skype aritu T_T

Ani Norfarah said...

Eh, patutnye "I've bought smtg for u from paris the other day" kn.. Ouch, teruknye grammar skrg dah lame tak buat karangan. Huhu..

sarah.azman said...

sid: thanks! tp cm ade unsur perli di situ.. haha

farah: LOL! u did edit ape yg ko komen? lawak la.. who cares la farah.. kte pnye grammar lg teruk lah.. can't wait to see the gift.. :D